UPDATE and Addressing Common Concerns

They say the first trimester can be hard, but I never heard anyone say it would be like....wanting to die. At least that's how it was for me, and that's why I haven't posted anything in a couple of months. So yes, good for you to all the women who didn't have any symptoms the first trimester. I, on the other hand, spent 7-8 weeks nauseous, in bed, and avoiding anything that had a smell at all costs. There were certainly things that helped temporarily, and I used them as much as I could. Of course, all women are different, but if you're having a rough first trimester, here are some things that helped me that might help you as well:


-Walking and not being in a car as often as possible
-Eating a piece of toast or cereal before getting out of bed
-Sex (I know some people completely lose their libido during pregnancy, but not me. Ask me about Orgasmic Meditation, too).
-Not being on the phone/computer
-Peppermint and ginger tea
-More dense foods like grains and nuts
-Sleep, sleep, sleep
-Hot baths (but not too hot, of course).


Now I am in my 14th week and those days seem to be behind me for the most part. I still feel slightly nauseous between meals and at night, but it's bearable. My aversion to salads is no longer, thank GODDESS. The thought alone of spinach would send me to the toilet at one point. Last week I chose my midwifery team here in Austin and had my first prenatal appointment yesterday where I heard my baby's heartbeat for the very first time. Just thinking about it again gets me choked up. What an amazing feeling. I am very happy and confident with the team I chose and look forward to growing a relationship with these women at Honeydue Homebirth. 

So that's that....

Feel free to ask me any other questions about my first trimester experience.

What I wanted to talk about in this blog is two of the more common things I hear when people find out I am birthing at home. Well, for the most part, people are really supportive. Here in Austin it's not unusual to have a homebirth. But where I am from, people don't have homebirths or birth at birthing centers. I have family and people I grew up around that are mostly supportive, but raise questions, as they probably should. The ones who make these remarks are actually those who are more open to the idea of natural childbirth. The ones who aren't usually don't say anything at all. The two most common statements I hear from people in some form or fashion is, "I would love to birth at home but I can't afford it and insurance (or medicaid) pays for a hospital birth," and "I couldn't birth at home because I'm not good with pain. I need meds."

I'll start with, "I would love to birth at home but I can't afford it and insurance (or medicaid) pays for a hospital birth."

Let me just start off by saying, yes, the maternal care (well, all health care for that matter) really sucks here in the U.S. In other places such as Canada and Europe, women don't have to worry about how they are going to pay to give life. Midwives are paid for by the government and so is postpartum care. They also get longer PAID maternity leave which is nothing but most beneficial to mother and baby on so many levels. I get it. It's not fair. Who wants to have a possible financial burden when they should be enjoying the best time in their life? Ya, it's a drag, but here is my response given our current system.

Interestingly, the few people I have heard this from without a shadow of a doubt are financially better off than my partner and I. When people say this, I'm thinking "uh ya, like I have so much extra money lying around to pay for my homebirth....not." Of course, I don't say it like that to them, but seriously I am not having a homebirth because I have more money than you. I am having a homebirth because it is a priority. Birthing in a hospital is not seen as an option unless of an emergency, therefore a homebirth has to happen. It's sort of like this: The majority of people you know probably own a car and went to college, right? Let's face it, most people don't have that kind of money to put down in full for cars and school. So what do they do? They borrow money, they get grants and scholarships, they take out loans, they pay in payments, they get an extra job. They do whatever they can because to them they HAVE to go to college, or they HAVE to have a car, and usually it's both. There is just no other option so they make it happen and they make it work. That's how birthing at home is for me. I could easily go get medicaid (which I am anyway in case of emergency) and have an absolutely free birth in a hospital. But several thousand dollars is more than worth it to me. I am paying to have the experience I want. I am paying for what I believe to be the best and most healthiest thing for my baby. I am paying to be able to move around, and eat during labor, and have one hour long personal prenatal visits. This is my child, this is my body and there is no amount of money that would steer me into having a free hospital birth. So that's my answer. If you believe in benefit of birthing at home, and fear the risks of hospital intervention such as I do, then it becomes a priority. I don't live with cable tv, I pay low rent, I don't have car payments, I don't buy brand new clothing. I have other priorities such as healthy, organic food...and homebirthing :) Feeling the whole process of birthing my child, and the experience being MINE, not something taken over or seen as something to be intervened by the medical establishment, is invaluable to me. And very empowering. Midwives are very flexible with payments because they want everyone to be able to have an empowering homebirth. I still don't know exactly how or when it will all get paid for, but I'm not worried about it. If it's not a priority to you, then it will be easy to use money as the reason why you choose not to, like anything in life.


What about, "I couldn't birth at home because I'm not good with pain. I need meds."

Most (if not all) of the women who say this are speaking from their experience of their first birth. They might be thinking, "Pshh, ya you just wait and see how painful it is." First of all, I am not here to claim that birth isn't painful. I imagine it is, and I imagine it is more so for women who are having hospital births and here is why I imagine that. Let's take my little sister for example, who gave birth to my precious nephew 6 months ago. She was someone who told me how painful it was. She had a planned hospital birth (meaning she planned to have her baby at the hospital), and when she went into labor, all she could do was hurry up and frantically get in the car and be driven for 20-30 minutes until she got to the hospital. If she were having a planned homebirth, it might have looked something more like this: She could have had the peace of mind knowing that she didn't have to get anywhere and been in the comfort of her own home, while she used the techniques that she learned in her natural childbirth classes (such as hypnobirthing), and waited for her doula to get there who is trained in assisting in natural pain relief methods during labor. She could have labored in a warm tub, and moved around (which helps greatly with pain) as opposed to being confined to a bed. Am I saying this would have ensured my sister had a pain free labor? No, but her ideas of pain would have been different, she would have the tools to manage it better, there would have been more support around her, and she would be in a more comfortable environment. My point is, if you plan to have a natural birth, there is much more preparation around things like pain. Things that also help with pain are your diet and exercise. The healthier you are, the better things will flow, open, and stretch.

Also, this is again about priorities. Personally, I would rather experience temporary pain (yes, even if it feels like my hips are going to explode) if that means lowering my risk of unnecessary hospital intervention. To know what I mean, check out the statistics of hospital birth interventions compared to homebirth. Did you know that women giving birth in a hospital are 4-5 times more likely to have a c-section than women who birth at home or in a free standing birthing center? That alone is enough to keep me birthing at home. Not to mention women birthing at home are less likely to ask for pain meds, less likely to receive an episiotomy, less likely to have a forceps or vacuum delivery, and they are more successful with breastfeeding.

If you aren't familiar with birthing naturally, it's really something worth looking into for all women. We were made to be able to do it, and quite frankly, what's happening inside our maternity wards is scary. Fortunately, some establishments are catching on and adopting methods that benefit mother and baby. I imagine it will only get better from here. Ladies, you can do it. You can give birth as you were intended to, and if you want a natural birth experience, you can have it.